Why You Can't Stick with a New Habit, and How You Can

Motivation may get you to start a new habit, but it isn't enough to keep you going with it long-term. You know that energy you feel before you start trying something? You're excited about it, you picture what the results will be, you can't stop thinking/talking about it, and you know it's the answer to your problems. If you're like me, you'll likely obsess about it and try to learn as much as you can ahead of time. You have a plan, and you are PUMPED for it!

But soon after you start, you stop doing it.

It's either too hard, not as fun, not quick enough results, or it takes up too much time. So you stop. You wanted to do it, but the voice inside your head said, "I don't even know if this is making a difference" or "I thought I could do it every day but I'm just too tired/busy". You start to make up excuses and come up with reasons why you shouldn't do it.

This doesn't happen because you are a bad person or a failure. It happens because motivation isn't enough. It may be good enough to get you started, but it's not enough to keep you going. You aren't lacking motivation.

So, what does keep you going if it isn't motivation? 3 things:

1. Knowing your "why"

This is much deeper than motivation. Having strong and specific reasons for wanting to do something is very important to sticking with it. For example, if you want to start a consistent yoga practice, you probably won't continue with it if you are only doing it because your

friend says it will be good for you both. Instead, if you are doing it so that you feel better mentally and have more energy to play with your kids, you will be far more likely to continue with the practice. It's also not enough to just know your why. You need to keep reminding yourself of it on a daily basis. Really picture your why. Imagine yourself being able to live more in the moment and enjoy your time with your kids or friends instead of constantly thinking of everything else you have to do. Every time you feel like you don't want to do it, remind yourself why you wanted to start it in the first place. Recite your reason(s) to yourself every morning in bed before you get up, or as you are drinking your coffee/tea, or when you are showering. Keeping it fresh in your mind will help keep you on track.

2. Discipline

Discipline is different from motivation, although it is often wrongfully used interchangeably. Discipline is doing the thing even when you don't want to. Motivation is when you want to do it. Discipline is necessary because of course there will be days that you aren't feeling motivated, but having the discipline to do it anyway will keep you in line with your goals.

Having discipline means being your own coach and telling yourself to get up out of bed and get on your mat. Do you remember an old sports coach or gym teacher pushing you to do things that you really don't want to do, and hating them for that, but also knowing it is what makes you better at that sport? Be that person to yourself (but don't hate yourself for it!). The hardest part is getting yourself to the mat, or putting on your running shoes, or changing into workout clothes. Once you actually start moving, don't you feel a million times better? How often do you regret doing it afterwards? Never. You just have to have the discipline to get you there. And most of the time you will feel little to no motivation to do it. Do it anyway.

3. Consistency

Have you ever done a habit so consistently that when you skip that thing one time, you feel weird? Even brushing your teeth can be an example of this. You are in a habit of brushing your teeth consistently. Have you ever forgotten to do it in the morning and rushed out of the house and then realized your mouth feels gross? It throws your whole day off. You think "man, I can't believe I forgot to brush my teeth. I can't believe how uncomfortable this is from just missing it once". This can be the same for you when you get into the habit of any healthy habit.

In college I got into a very consistent routine of going to spin class. The first couple of weeks were basically torture because my muscles were so sore that I could barely lower myself down onto the toilet. True story. But I had so much fun at the classes (even though they were super difficult and sweaty) that I pushed myself to keep showing up. After a month or two, it became part of my routine. When I randomly had to miss a class due to homework I had to get done or because I was sick, it bothered me so much to miss just one spin class. I had gotten so used to it that missing one was so impactful.

Not only does consistency make it easier to continue going, but it also means you'll see results. And seeing results will further drive you to want to keep it up!

Don't feel upset with yourself if you lose motivation

Nobody feels motivated all the time. It's normal to lose motivation. When it happens to you, don't let that be the reason to stop a healthy habit. Remind yourself daily of your why, be disciplined, and stay consistent. These 3 things will help you stay on track or get back on track when you pause your habit for a bit.