When is kindness genuine?

How often do you feel genuine kindness from somebody?

I am wondering that because of a recent experience I had in Hawaii.

We were doing a river tubing adventure on Kauai. During the safety briefing, we were all told that there would be times that our tubes will be spinning and hitting other peoples' tubes, much like bumper cars. The guide told us the word "sorry" is not allowed to be used. It's a banned word by their company and saying so would result in them splashing the "refreshing" water on you. She asked if anyone was from Canada. One woman raised her hand, and she said she is the only one who can say sorry, because only people from Cananda actually mean sorry when they say it.

That statement bothered me. I know that when I say sorry, I do definitely mean it. But it got me thinking.

How often do we say things that we don't fully mean? How often do we say something out of a habit or without really thinking about it? I definitely do this. Are we too busy to stop and have a meaningful conversation with somebody? When somebody asks how we are doing, our automatic answer is "good, how are you?", but when was the last time you actually answered in the moment and not as an inherited response? When you ask that question, do you ask it because you are actually wondering how that person is doing or do you ask it because you feel an awkward pause, or you make eye contact and feel it is needed?

All of our days are very busy. A busy life is not an excuse to not be authentic and genuine in kindness. We can all use more kindness in our lives, and the world certainly can do with more compassionate people. Next time you catch yourself saying something automatic, stop and think about if you really meant to say that or if it was just a habit. Try to pay attention to what you're saying to others, and only say something that you genuinely meant. Take a moment longer to really ask how somebody is doing instead of saying, "how are you?". In order to try get out of that stale automatic response conversation, maybe try thinking of asking that question in a different way such as "how is your day going so far?" or "hi, are you enjoying this Tuesday?". These other options will allow for an actual small conversation with another human being. We all want to be heard, appreciated, and cared for. Maybe small intimate conversations with random people, including strangers, can make a difference in those peoples' lives by showing them some genuine love. You'll also feel more connected to people by having meaningful conversations instead of empty ones. It doesn't take a lot of effort to share some kindness and care about people.